Have i ever told you that I LOVE ribbons ? well, i fucking DO !! I fucking ADORE ribbons !!! I like chasing them around, wrestling with them.But you want to know what I like best ?
Eating them !!
I do !!
I fucking LOVE devouring the fucking things !!
So I was in HEAVEN on Saturday when the Fat Bearded Idiot, the Nice lady and the Things came back from food shopping with...BALLOONS !!!!
You know what balloons have tied to them don't you ?(Well, the very BEST balloons do anyway) that's right- RIBBONS !!!! Glorious pink ribbons.
It took all my willpower to not rush them when they entered the house. But I needed to be calm. To bide my time. the ribbons would be mine...All mine.
I kept a close eye on them while the Things bounced all over the house with the...But then, it was dinner time, and they all sat at the table. The balloons were left in the middle of the room. This was my chance. i slunk over to them, and I started to nibble. Precious ribbon.
Then, I heard a scream! the Nice Lady saw me !! Then the Fat, Bearded Idiot flew across the room and swatted me on my precious heiney !! I bolted, taking the balloon with me, but he followed, and wrestled the balloon(and the precious ribbon) away from me.
I knew I had missed my chance. I heard the Nice Lady going on about how the ribbons make me sick and blah blah puking on the carpet blah blah blah.
And now, the balloons and the precious ribbon are hidden from me. Sure, I get the occasional nibble here and there, but it's just a tease.
I guess I'll just have to wait until the next gift season.
