I Never Knock Things Over...

Fenwick: No, I don't. I don't see the point. Such wanton destruction, it's very undignified.
Arlo: Really ? Is that the reason ? I thought it was because you can't drag your gargantuan ass onto anything higher than a chair.
Fenwick: Very funny...I COULD climb higher, I CHOOSE not to, that's all.
Arlo: Riiiiiiight....Whatever...
Fenwick: Fine, don't believe me. See if I care, you hooligan.
Arlo: Yeah ? Well at least I don't have a shaved ass !!
Fenwick: You fucker !! You promised not to mention it !!
Arlo: Gotta go !!!

TO BE CONTINUED...

"I Like Knocking Shit Over"

Arlo: There, I have said it...I like knocking shit over...I thoroughly enjoy it...It makes my freakin' day !!! It doesn't matter what it is...Though I must admit, I particularly like knocking over things that shatter...Ooooh, man, that is sweet, like Christmas and New Year's all rolled up in one package...What's that ? What's the best thing I have ever knocked over ? That's easy...The lava lamp...Man, that was sweet...And you know what ? I did that one on the Fat, Bearded Idiot's birthday !!! That was awesome !! He and the Lady and their friends went to the baseball game to see his precious fucking New York Mets play the Dodgers, and I took advantage of the freedom to take out that lava lamp !! The floor was covered in oil and water and wax...Man, it was priceless !! Happy Birthday, you jackass !! Man, that was awhile ago, five years or so, I think.. I don't know that I have broken anything of value(either monetary or sentimental) since then...Hmm, I should get busy...Anyone have any ideas ?

Where have we been ?

Arlo: None of your god-damned business, that's where !! The nerve of some people, like I'm some circus performer, here for your enjoyment !! Bite my empty ball sac, that's what I have to say !!
Fenwick: Now, Arlo, that is really not necessary. People are just curious, that's all.
Arlo: You are such a kiss ass !! You know that they are not gonna feed you, right ?
Fenwick: They might...If we tell them a good story.
Arlo: Good grief, you are an idiot. I would call you a blockhead, but i think if we use both of those phrases together we would owe some money to the estate of Charles Schultz- and I don't wanna give any money to the estate of that cat-hating bastard !! I'll tear up that fucking dog house...Just let me at that fucking beagle.
Fenwick: Arlo, the vulgar language just makes you seem uneducated.
Arlo: Uneducated ? I am uneducated you fat bastard !! I was found in a god-damned dumpster !! Do you think I fell in there looking for my diploma from Yale or my Nobel Prize in Physics ? Well, I wasn't !! So, I will be as vulgar as I want, you sphincterhead !!
Fenwick: Oooh, that's a new one. I like that one. Very classy.
Arlo: Shut up and clean your ass. How do you do that, by the way ? Oh, right, you LICK IT !!
Fenwick: Touche.
Arlo: Thank you. Now, to answer the standing question. we have been planning and strategizing. Something is up with the Fat, Bearded Idiot and the Nice Lady...I haven't figured out what it is yet, but when I do, there will be retaliation- swift and painful retaliation !!

Fenwick: Do you think he's planning to kill her again ?

Arlo: Shut up.