Arlo: I am OUTTA THERE, Bitches !!!! That's right !! My internment by that Fat, Bearded Idiot has come to a glorious end !!! I am FREE !!!!!! I am now living with a grad student...A SINGLE grad student !! No children !!! No OTHER CATS(sorry, Fenwick, old pal, but I am a loner at heart)NO one to infringe on my time !! I am the CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE once again, and all is right with the world. Halle-fucking-lujiah !!!
You wanna know how I pulled it off ? I finally took a swing at one of the "things". Well, I didn't actually take a swing, the Lady stopped me, but I was ready to nail that baby, and the Lady knew it...And then it was time for me to go !! KICK-ASS !!! Those little things were SUCH flat tires, man !!! They ruined everything !!! Well, they can all have each other. They can kiss my pink, puckered asshole !!
Alas, that also means that my time as a blogger has come to an end. No internet access at the new pad, plus, I must admit, now that I will be a cat free of the Fat, Bearded, Idiot and his progeny, receiving the love and attention I TRULY deserve, with no beasts(human or otherwise) to hone in on my attention, the internets will be the furthest thing from my mind.
Peace out to all you bitches. Thanks for listening, and I leave you with Fenwick. He shall regale you with tales of licking his sadly empty ballsac, I'm sure.
Monday, October 30, 2006
Thursday, October 19, 2006
That White Son-Of-A-Bitch Is Back !!!
Arlo:That motherfucker !! Just who the fuck does he think he is, taking cover from the rain under the awning of MY porch?
He had better thank the kitty gods every night that someone invented screens, because otherwise, his lily white fur would be running red, right about now, if you know what I mean.
Fenwick: What, you'd throw fruit punch on him ?
Arlo: Oh, har dee har har, you fat idiot. No, I would be opening his kitty veins, and his fur would be turning a bright crimson!!
Fenwick: We really need to cut down on the amount of cat on cat crime.
Arlo: Yeah, that's all well and good, but he's keeping himself dry under MY awning !! Don't you get it ?
Fenwick: Get what ? He's stuck in the rain, and he's trying to stay dry.
Arlo: You poor, naive bastard. He's dissing us, can't you see ? He's a "free cat", we're "domesticated"..Don't you get it. He's calling us lesser felines, that four legged son-of-a-bitch !!
Fenwick: You been in the catnip ? He's trying to stay dry...You don't think he would change spots with us ?
Arlo: YOU do ? You think he wants to live with the Fat, Bearded Idiot and those THINGS ? I think not, my friend.
Fenwick: Okay, whatever you say there, pal. I'm gonna go back inside that horrible place and get some more free food.
Arlo: Yeah, you do that. I'm gonna keep my eye on this bastard here.
Fenwick: Okay. I feel safer already.
He had better thank the kitty gods every night that someone invented screens, because otherwise, his lily white fur would be running red, right about now, if you know what I mean.
Fenwick: What, you'd throw fruit punch on him ?
Arlo: Oh, har dee har har, you fat idiot. No, I would be opening his kitty veins, and his fur would be turning a bright crimson!!
Fenwick: We really need to cut down on the amount of cat on cat crime.
Arlo: Yeah, that's all well and good, but he's keeping himself dry under MY awning !! Don't you get it ?
Fenwick: Get what ? He's stuck in the rain, and he's trying to stay dry.
Arlo: You poor, naive bastard. He's dissing us, can't you see ? He's a "free cat", we're "domesticated"..Don't you get it. He's calling us lesser felines, that four legged son-of-a-bitch !!
Fenwick: You been in the catnip ? He's trying to stay dry...You don't think he would change spots with us ?
Arlo: YOU do ? You think he wants to live with the Fat, Bearded Idiot and those THINGS ? I think not, my friend.
Fenwick: Okay, whatever you say there, pal. I'm gonna go back inside that horrible place and get some more free food.
Arlo: Yeah, you do that. I'm gonna keep my eye on this bastard here.
Fenwick: Okay. I feel safer already.
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