Thursday, September 28, 2006

Whoa !!

Arlo:
Have you ever thought about claws ? Hee, "claws" it's a funny word, huh ? But that wasn't my point...Oooh, string !!...Wait, what was I saying again ?

Fenwick: Claws....

Arlo: Right, right...Claws...Have you ever thought about them ?


Fenwick: Huh ?

Arlo: Have you ever REALLY thought about claws ?

Fenwick: Yeah, so ?

Arlo: No, I mean REALLY,REALLY thought about them ?

Fenwick: OH...Then, no I haven't. Why ?

Arlo: You should man, you really should. There is some wild shit going on with these things, my man. Some WIIIILD shit.

Fenwick: Like what ?

Arlo: Like what ? Like...Well...Hey, was that a bug ? Son of a bitch !! I hate bugs...Especially flying ones...Oh, man I just wanna...What were we talking about again?

Fenwick: Dude, I don't know... Will you just shut up ? I'm trying to watch the wall here.

Arlo: you and that wall. That wall don't mean shit. It's all about...Now what was I saying ? Shiiit, that wall is kinda cool, man....

Catnip...It will do NOTHING to you,too.

Friday, September 22, 2006

It's Raining Food !!!!

Hallelujah, It's raining food !!!


There is finally one positive aspect to those "things" that the Nice Lady and the Fat,Bearded Idiot brought into our lives:
They are complete and utter SLOBS when they eat. It's a fucking GOLDMINE !!!!]
Mind you, it in no way makes up for the screeching and the drooling and the touching, but it's still pretty sweet, I'll tell you what.
I get to eat Cheerio's and cheese and bananas. Even some oatmeal sometimes. Cha-fucking-ching !!!
I cannot WAIT until they get to eat cookies !!!!
- Fenwick

Monday, September 18, 2006

Fuck You....

That's it...I don't have anything profound to add...No particular reason to say it....It's just something I needed to say...Hey, you Fat, Bearded Idiot ! Yeah, you !! You hippie dipshit !! Guess what ?
Fuck you, that's what.
Son of a bitch. Sometimes that just feels good to say, you know ?
Amen.

Friday, September 08, 2006

Pssst...Wanna Know Why I Shit On The Floor Just Outside The Litter Box ?

Fenwick: Well, do you ? You really want to know ? Here's why ? Because I CAN !!If that Fat, Bearded Idiot and The Nice Lady can bring those little THINGS into the house to steal my thunder, then I can shit on the floor !!
Those THINGS , by the way ? They have begun to move on their own !!! Before, the fat, Bearded Idiot or the Nice Lady would thrust them at us, and that was bad enough, but now they can CHASE us on all fours !! Kee-RIST !!! And they are always drooly and touchy...Ick !!!
Anyway, back to my point- I shit on the floor because I wanna, and because I CAN.
HARUMPH !!!

Thursday, September 07, 2006

That Fucking Cat Is SO LUCKY That There's A Screen Between Us...

Arlo:That dirty rotten, son of a bitch. Hanging out in the bushes outside my porch...MY MUTHA-FUCKIN' PORCH !!! Who the fuck does that cat think he his ? That snow white son of a bitch!!! Prolly named Fluffy or something...Who the FUCK does he think he is ???!?!?!?!?!?! He is SO MUTHA-FUCKIN' LUCKY that there is a screen here, or he would be a bloody mess right now !! I would tear that fucker two or three new assholes to lick, I'll tell you what!!

Fenwick: is there a reason you are delivering this tirade from under a chair?

Arlo: Cuz it makes me look cool and mysterious.

Fenwick : Really? it's not because that "mutha fucka" of a white cat just hissed at you through that screen that he is so fortunate is there to contain you ?

Arlo: Shut up.