That Old Bastard String

Fenwick: String...what is it about us and string ? Tell you what, pal...if I knew that, I would probably be a rich cat...that, I assure you, I am not...string is hypnotic, mesmerizing, it puts us almost immediately under it's spell...it's bewitching and haunting...I don't WANT to like it, i mean, sometimes I'll be minding my very own cat business, dozing, and that fat, bearded idiot will hit me in the head with a piece of string...do I want to ignore it ? Of course. Do I want to go on sleeping ? Damn skippy ! Can I do those things ? Certainly not...my pupils expand, my paws start to vibrate back and forth...and I start swatting at the string...at first, I can't believe I'm doing it again, but then it just takes over, and I am going bananas over this string...flailing around...swinging wildly, rearing up on two legs, trying to BITE the string...I mean, it's embarrassing, it really is, but it is out of my control...then the game is over, we go our separate ways...and I silently despise myself...until they hit me with another piece of string...